:: worlds in words ::

Another year, another decade has passed us by.  Goodbye 2009; welcome, 2010.  Of course, this means that nearly a year has passed since I began this site and blog.  And of course yet again, the intention and effort was there but I dropped the ball around the end of July and haven’t updated since.  So once more unto the breech, say I!  Let’s see how long I can hold out this time.  In so saying, I suppose I’ll do the cliche thing and go over my goals for this year; not so much are they New Year’s Resolutions as they are a roadmap for me. Read more

“Never Gonna Give Your Teen Spirit Up” – Nirvana/Rick Astley Mashup

We are all two people, if not more than that.  We’re comprised of personas.  There is no simple singular identity that comprehensively defines a person – or so I believe.  Maybe that’s only because I live such a fragmented life.  The person that you are with your parents is most likely not the same person that you are with your best friend, which is also probably different from the person you are at work.

I’m way the fuck out to lunch when it comes to identity.  Depending on who you talk to, I could be described as a die-hard Romantic or a completely unemotional robot Vulcan.  Some will say that I work myself to death and never accept mediocrity; others will testify under oath that I am one seriously lazy son of a bitch who wouldn’t get his ass up to put himself out if he were on fire.  There are so many conflicts and contradictions that it would be easier to say I am actually multiple people.

I think that most of us never really evaluate who we are – what that means, of experience versus evaluation, the cognizant versus the perceived.

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There’s a great Op-Ed in the New York Times by David Brooks, In Search of Dignity.  In it, he discusses George Washington, and how when he, in youth, “copied out a list of 110 Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation.” Washington reportedly took them to heart and tried to practice them in all situations.  Brooks writes,

In so doing, he turned himself into a new kind of hero. He wasn’t primarily a military hero or a political hero. As the historian Gordon Wood has written, “Washington became a great man and was acclaimed as a classical hero because of the way he conducted himself during times of temptation. It was his moral character that set him off from other men.”

Not a lot of people like that around these days.

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(from http://www.sinfest.net)

There are a couple things I miss from my old life. Not too many – mainly because I didn’t have to give up many things – but the thing I miss the most of all is music. Most specifically, the music I was making with the band that I had to leave when I joined the military.

I wish there was a way for me to describe what music is to me, what it does to me – and what it’s been over the course of my entire life. Music was the development of my freedom, my distinction, my personality. Music was my refuge, my shelter, my sanctum. Looking at my music library now, you’ll find stuff from Gordon Lightfoot to Simon and Garfunkel; Billy Joel to Elton John; Metallica to Blind Guardian; Dispatch to Phish; Queen to Scorpions; and the list goes on.

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