:: worlds in words ::

Life is beautiful.

Frigid winds blow cold. Leaves fall and crumble away. People die and leave only ashes and memories. Darkness comes and leaves but loneliness. Old friends whom you once loved go their own ways. Treasured memories become blurred, hazy, and then are forgotten. These are all beautiful things, to be treasured in and of themselves, not to be despaired over with the silent hope for better days.
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in the short spaces between breaths
he stands transfixed in the gaze of god
and darkness overtakes the mind

idle idolatry fades into incessant wonder
and greatness is defined by a lacking spirit
as we said to our fathers, in days of youth:

“a blissful soul is emptied of desire;
it finds no rest in heights nor low places
and receives the reward of tranquility.”

a thousand years have passed since then
long since those days, ignorance remains -
still he waits for christmas but it never came

raging on, I remember, we continued
walked through the torrentuous day
and swam in defiance of the flood

and from the midst of lies materialized
a new answer, instantaneous infinity,
a completion that dwells within the void

but then he turned and asked of me,
“in the long slumber of winter season
have I been dreaming an eternal dream?”

he held eternity in his left hand and infinity in his right
but this he knew:
that the prerogative of fulfilling potential was his alone
though he was great and his name was Titan
a legend he was not – for this he feared:
not risk and failure, but unwavering triumph
he was possessed of an unshakable will
that drove his need to need
and this he said:
I am nothing.
lay before me the strength of all the earth
and I shall give the broken pieces of a shattered world.
but he could not match eternity to infinity
and enclosed by the finite
he did not cast his eyes to the unknowable
for this lay even beyond the reach of gods
and this he denied:
that he was greater than the greatest he could conceive
that he was an ingenius immortal
and one night:
a star danced across the sky
and then there was silence.

While discussing poetry with a – it feels odd to call him friend, because he was a teacher. But it feels odd to call him my teacher, considering that we Twitter back and forth constantly throughout the day. While I was discussing the odd concept of writing, and the difficulty with writing when it’s something you want to convey so much but have such difficulty doing it, we got somewhat on the subject of poetry. Which then, of course, prompted me to go back through the folders full of old stuff I’d written which I used to honestly believe could pass for poems.

I think this piece from years ago really captures how I feel right now, though. Maybe I will get back into writing poetry, even if it is utter dredge what I come out with. It’s cathartic.

Leviathan’s Lament

Rising, the troubled waters reach
Screaming, shrieking, grasping for the sky
What divides the sea from the heaven?
Where ends shore and begins ocean?
They seek to usurp the hierarchy of blue
Pulling strength from the vasty deep
To lunge like a whale up to the clouds
A spray of tears on a young man’s face –
His eyes close. More than one reflection
In the water staring back – moving in the waves,
Reaching for him too, reaching down in itself.
The sun sets; the seas unsettle
Wreak all hell forth, in water’s fury
Weeping for his love, lashing at the least,
Roaring, ‘A thousand depths cross I
To smile thine eyne upon mine, o love!’
Not the unstable havoc of a child
But the custom madness of a poet
What terror lies there underneath the glassy sheen
Both a mirror and a window;
What hope rests within the flimsy craft,
Both a gateway and a coffin?
My love, you know not despair nor joy
Until you kiss these lips which have waited for you
My love, you know not fear nor elation
Until you see yourself fall into the ocean.

A piece from last year.

they spoke(to me)about:
dancing
in darkness,
old sailor’s songs, and
laughter spilling over
pintglasses, droplets of wisdom shaped like
tears
shaped like-
is this all there is?
&fade
&fadeaway [silence]

(Happy New Year)